Pork Apple Barrel Spending Burger

Before I start this post I just want to let you guys know about our new sponsor, The Employment Branch, which is a temp agency for recently out-of-work non-essential government employees. That’s right, The Employment Branch, “Yes, you actually HAVE to work to get paid.”

I’ve been wanting to make this burger and put it up on the blog for a long time and we all know once you’ve built something up in your mind for such a long time, it always lives up to your expectations. Before I continue to ramble on about how perfect this burger is for an autumn weekend dinner, I want to explain the name of the burger. No I’m not going to explain the joke to you and why it works, but I do want to say that I took a page out of Bob’s Burgers book and made a burger of the day. If you don’t watch Bob’s Burgers then you probably should. Why? Because you’re reading this blog and you obviously have some brain functionality and like to laugh.

I’m not going to keep talking about a burger. It’s a pork burger with apple chutney, goat cheese, and onion rings served with a beet and goat cheese “salad”. That’s all you need to know, enjoy.

Pork Burgers

yields 5 burgers

• 1 lbs. Ground Pork
• 1/4 cup Oats
• 1 Egg
• 1/2 teaspoon Garlic Salt
• 1/2 teaspoon Paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon Pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon Sage dried

1. Mix everything together in a large mixing bowl with your hands.
2. Make patties, should yield about 5. 
3. In a large skilled or if you have a grill, coat with a touch of oil. Turn the heat up to 11! Actually no, don’t do that, just turn it up to like medium high. Cook each side for about 2 minutes or until it’s golden brown.
4. Top your burger with the apple chutney, onion rings, and some goat cheese.

I like adding oats to my burgers, because it makes the meat go a bit further. And we all love meat that keeps on coming.

Apple Chutney

• 4 Apples quartered and seeded
• 2 Fiji
• 2 Gala
• 1/2 Red Onion sliced
• 2 teaspoons Olive Oil
• 1 1/2 tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar
• 3 tablespoons packed Dark Brown Sugar
• 1 tablespoon Molasses
• 1/2 teaspoon Cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon Curry Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Garlic Salt
• 1/4 teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon Paprika

1. Heat the olive oil in a saucepan over medium-high heat while you turn the onion and apples into pebble sized pieces with a food processor.
2. Stir the apples and onion into the hot oil. Stir all the other ingredients and let simmer for about 1 hour 30 minutes, be sure to stir occasionally. 

Baked Onion Rings

• 1/2 Red Onion thickly sliced
• 2 Eggs
• 1/3 cup Milk
• 1/2 cup Flour
• 1 cup Bread Crumbs
• Oil
• Salt and pepper

1. Preheat oven to 375°. 
2. Get small-ish mixing bowls. Put the flour in one, eggs and milk (whisked together) in another and the bread crumbs, salt and pepper in the last one. Lightly coat a baking pan with some oil. 
3. Coat the sliced onion rings in flour. Then dip in the egg and milk mixture and finally the breadcrumbs. Place in the baking pan and cook for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Flip halfway through cooking.

Baked Beet and Goat Cheese “Salad”

• 3 Beets
• 3 Golden Beets
• 2 tablespoons Red Wine Vinegar
• 5 oz. Goat Cheese
• Micro Greens

1. Prepare the beets for baking (cutting off the tail and the green stuff). Preheat the oven to 350. Place the beets in a baking pan and cover with tin foil.
2. Bake for about 1 1/2 hours. Take out of oven and let cool. The beets can be prepared the evening before. 
3. Remove the skin from the beets. Slice vertically to make beet discs, which also happens to be what I call records. 
4. Stack the beets and goat cheese together and top with micro greens.

Just because it’s fall that doesn’t mean you need to drench everything in pumpkin spice. Now go out there and make something delicious and avoid Starbuck’s pumpkin spice latte, it causes gourding.

All photos taken by Katy Weaver

Fig Dessert Pizza and Maple Coffee

Here at Cooking with B.S. Corp. we like to pride ourselves on knowing what recipes our followers want. You’ve spoken up and we’ve listened to your pleas for more fig recipes. I would also like to point out this is the No. 1 fig based blog outside of the Middle East and would like to use this title to help solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but first coffee.

Autumn came ushering in this year like a car swerving off the highway due to the first autumn rains. Instead of going outside and enjoying the crisp fall air, why not stay in drinking a hot cup of coffee with some maple whipped cream to top it off? And while you’re enjoying your ideal fall drink, read through some of your favorite Cooking with B.S. posts and click on an ad or three. 

I fully endorse coffee with dessert and from what I’ve seen it’s only my grandparents and their friends that partake in this post-dinner ritual. I wish more people my age would join in, but wishful thinking never solved anything except turning Pinocchio into a real boy.

Maple Whipped Cream Coffee

• 1/2 cup Heavy Whipping Cream
• 1 tablespoon Maple Syrup
• 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1. Add everything to a mixing bowl and whisk until it’s all whippy. 
2. Add the delicious whipped cream to a cup of coffee.
3. Petition Starbucks to buy this recipe from me to replace the Pumpkin Spiced Latte as “The Fall Coffee Drink”.

Fig and Goat Cheese Dessert Pizza

• 2 Figs quartered
• 3 oz. Goat Cheese crumbled
• 1 tablespoon Honey
• 1/4 teaspoon Cinnamon
• Pizza dough

1. Once again I used America’s Test Kitchen‘s pizza dough recipe for this one. You can buy their new book, Cooking School Cookbook here!
2. Preheat the oven to 475°
3. Drizzle the honey over the stretched out pizza dough. Crumble on the goat cheese. Add the figs and sprinkle the cinnamon over the pizza.
4. Bake on a pizza baking stone for about 10 minutes or until the edges are crispy.
5. NOTE: the figs will make this pizza a little juicy so let the sugars cool and solidify before cutting into the dessert pizza.

Things can change at a moment’s notice; the weather, the season, the ripeness of figs, but instead of worrying about what’s coming next, take time out of your busy schedule to enjoy something sweet and the post-dinner buzz of the world’s favorite bean.  Enjoy!

All photos by THE Katy Weaver

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This whipped cream looks like a grumpy old man.

Fig, Goat Cheese, and Pancetta Flatbread Pizza

That’s right another fig post. Bombarding your food blog followers with fig posts is one of the benefits of having a fig tree in your backyard. Another benefit of having a kadota fig tree is using them on homemade-artisan-flatbread pizza. 

Figs, goat cheese, and pancetta. You could probably put these three ingredients in any dish and make the dish taste like a party that everyone’s invited to, except for Jared. He knows why he’s not invited. But adding figs, goat cheese, and pancetta to a pizza just makes the pizza taste like sex on a jetski.

Apple Cider-Fig Vinaigrette

• 2 large Figs chopped 
• 1 tablespoon Olive Oil
• 1/4 cup Apple Cider Vinegar

1. Heat the oil up in a pan over medium heat saute the figs for a few minutes, 3-5 should do it. 
2. Stir in the apple cider. Mash up the figs with your wooden spoon or whatever overpriced utensil you bought from West Elm.
3. Pour into a small mixing bowl and let the dressing cool in the fridge.
4. Once cooled, toss with the arugula and serve with tomatoes and radishes.

Pizza Dough 

I used America’s Test Kitchen’s recipe for my pizza dough. I recommend getting this recipe from their new cookbook The America’s Test Kitchen Cooking School Cookbook which comes out on October 15th. Here’s an Amazon link to it!

Fig, Goat Cheese, and Pancetta Flatbread Artisan Pizza (Fig Sauce)

• 4 Figs chopped 
• 1/2 small Red Onion minced 
• 1 clove Garlic minced
• 1 teaspoon Italian Seasoning
• 1 teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
• 1 tablespoon Olive Oil
• 1 pinch Salt
• 1/4 teaspoon Pepper freshly ground
• 1 tablespoon Honey

1. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic. Let the garlic and onion caramelize just a bit. OH GOD! You forgot about them didn’t you? Would you look at that now they’re burnt. Get out another onion and start over, or just let someone else cook.
2.  Once the onions and garlic are caramelized add everything else, stir, and let the sauce simmer for a good 10 minutes.
3. Let cool and add to your pizza crust.
4. Put sliced figs, goat cheese, red onions, and pancetta on your pizza and bake for about 10-15 minutes at 475°

Go ahead and have some fun with some end-of-the-season figs. Put them in everything! So much so that you get sick of them just in time to start binging on pumpkin spice flavored autumn products. As you might have assumed these figtastic (did I use this joke last week?) photos were taken by the super talented Katy Weaver.

Yam Hash Browns

When given the chance to choose between regular ol’ potatoes and yams, I’m going to yam it up. Yams are probably my favorite tuber, that is if I had to pick just one. As anyone who follows this blog knows that I love breakfast food, but to be honest I’ve never been a huge hash brown fan, whenever I eat them I always feel like something was missing. I discovered that the sweetness of the yams works well with the onions and to complete the full flavor of the dish I topped it with hot sauce and goat cheese. 

• 2 large red yams peeled and grated
• 1/4 cup of diced onions
• olive oil
• crumbled goat cheese
• Hot sauce (I use Sriracha)
• Sliced green onions
• Salt & pepper to taste

1. Peel the skin off the yams. 
2. Grate the yams into a large mixing bowl. Once the yams have been reduced to pieces, squeeze out as much of the juice you can. I’d recommend doing this over the sink. Also, you’re hands might be stained orange after you do this, (regular hand soap removes the yam caused jaundice).
3. Mix in the diced onions with the bowl of yam shreds, add salt and pepper to taste. 
4. Find a large skillet somewhere in your kitchen, I don’t know where you keep yours. Add enough olive oil to make a layer about 2 cm deep, and heat over medium high heat. 
5. I usually make two hash browns at a time. I make two hash brown shaped, well hash browns in the pan. Let the first side cook for about 5 minutes then flip and let the other side cook for another 5 minutes. DO NOT put the cooked hash browns on paper towels, they’ll stick to the fibers in the paper and it’ll just turn into a mess. I recommend using a wire cooling rack. 
6. To finish the dish, plate the hash browns and top with crumbled goat cheese, green onions, and hot sauce. Enjoy!

This is just the appetizer, more posts coming later this week!

All photos taken by Katy Weaver (I would highly recommend checking out her awesome newly redesigned website!)