Pot Roast

It’s week two of vintage month on Cooking with B.S.! And we’re featuring the most the oldest recipe ever, cooked meat. There is something appealing about simplicity. Maybe it’s having fewer dishes to clean up after the meal is cooked or perhaps it’s when you don’t muddle the meat with every spice under the sun its true flavor comes out. Or perhaps these vintage recipes remind us of a simpler time, a better time, a time before quinoa.

• 1 lbs. Beef Roast
• 2 Carrots
• 5 Celery Stalks
• 1/2 Medium Yellow Onion
• 3 Potatoes
• Salt and Pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 375°
2. Coarsely chop all the vegetables except the potatoes. 
3. Place the roast in a pan or in a “pot” and add a dash of salt and pepper. Place the chopped vegetables around the roast.  Add another dash of salt and pepper to everything in the pot. Put the lid on the pot and place the pot in the oven. 
4. Bake for 15 minutes. Stir all the vegetables around and turn the roast over. Cook for another 15 minutes.
5. Coarsely cut up the potatoes and add to the pot. Continue cooking for another 30 minutes.
6. Slice and serve. 

Photos by Katy Weaver

Classic Potato Salad

No this potato salad doesn’t have anything weird or crazy in it. No I didn’t use some insane method of cooking these regular ol’ potatoes. This is straightforward potato salad, though it does identify as egg salad on a few documents. 

I know last week I said this blog doesn’t pander to the Pinterest people and that I wanted to move the culinary arts forward. The best way to move forward is to look to the past. That’s why all month long on Cooking with B.S. we’re bringing you classic-vintage recipes! 

Yes I know potato salad isn’t exactly a culinary tentpole, but it’s an American classic! Just try having a family picnic without potato salad. It doesn’t work! Uncle Frank just spends the whole day asking, “Where’s the potato salad?” Then Aunt Sally chimes in, “Frank you shouldn’t be eating that anyway. Cause of the cholesterol.” Next thing you know their martial banter turns into a full blown food fight and your quinoa-kale salad is on the ground. Where it belongs! The dog won’t even eat it. All while you’re quietly drinking a beer in the corner and telling yourself that you’re definitely doing your own thing for Thanksgiving.

So yeah. Don’t let that happen and just make this potato salad. 

• 6 Eggs hard boiled
• 6 Potatoes peeled and cubed
• 10 Olives minced
• 1/2 cup Mayonnaise
• 1/3 cup Classic Yellow Mustard
• 1/4 cup Relish
• 1 heaping tablespoon Horseradish
• Dill optional (I used a sprig of dill as garnish) 

1. Hard boil your eggs for 15 minutes, once cooked cool in the fridge while you prepare the rest.
2. Place the peeled and cubed potatoes in a pot of boiling water with a bit of salt. Cook just long enough until the potatoes break apart with a fork. 
3. In a small mixing bowl combine the mayo, mustard, olives, relish and horseradish.
4. One your eggs have cooled a bit. Shell them and cut in half. Stir the yolks in to the mayo-mustard mixture. Mince the egg whites and place in a large mixing bowl. 
5. Drain the potatoes, place in the large mixing bowl with the egg whites. Stir in all the other ingredients. Let cool and serve. Or you can just eat it out of the bowl with a large mixing spoon. Not that I have ever done that…

These eggcellent Photos by Katy Weaver!!

Classy Joes (Sloppy Joes)

If you’re a regular visitor of this blog you know that I tend to make recipes that are a little more on the creative side. This has never been and never will be a Pinterest baking blog filled with quinoa and Oreo filled recipes. Instead of appealing to the masses I would rather move the culinary arts forward and present my reimagining of a school cafeteria staple, the Classy Joe. Sure the Classy Joe seems like a twisted pipe dream of a hairy lunch lady with aspirations of getting a Michelin Star.

Fun fact! When fried purple potatoes turn brown!

Gettin’ saucy!

• Challah Bread cubed 2×2 in
• 1/2 lbs Tri Tip Steak
• 1/2 cup Onion minced
• 1/2 cup Green Bell Pepper minced
• 1 Egg
• 1/3 cup Milk

Sauce

• 1/2 cup Ketchup
• 2 teaspoons Mustard Seed ground
• 2 tablespoons Worcester Sauce
• 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
• 1 teaspoon Garlic Salt
• 2 tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar
• 2 tablespoons Brown Sugar

1. Mix all the sauce ingredients together in a small bowl. 
2. Be sure all the prep work gets done, like cutting the bread and mincing the vegetables, to ensure the dish gets created properly.
3. Make a egg and milk bath in a shallow small bowl. 
4. Cook the steak over medium high heat, one minute on the first side then one minute on the other side. Or just cook the steak to your liking.
5. Coat the bread cubes in the egg bath then sort of press the vegetables into the moist cube. Cook in a skillet over medium heat until goldenish brown (the cubes will be green thanks to the bell peppers.
6. Once you have a few cubes cooked then you plate how you wish. I made a column with my meat and bread topped with a slice of black radish and green onion. I also served it with some purple fingerling potato fries, that sort of turned brown after I fried them. 

As always Photos by Katy Weaver!

Espresso Hazelnut Crème Brûlée

I don’t mean to brag, but this is the best Crème Brûlée ever, so suck it France! Crème Brûlée is one of the most elegant desserts you can make. Maybe it’s the simplicity of its ingredients or the crunch of the burnt sugar that gives way to the creaminess inside. Or it could be that infusing flavors into this classic dessert is like painting on a blank canvas. That, or it might just be that the French know their way around desserts, but that seems unlikely.

Quick shoutout to Oregon hazelnuts!! What what!! That is all. Carry on.

Yields four 5oz. servings

• 2 cups Heavy Cream
• 6 Egg Yolks
• 1/3 cup Granulated Sugar 
• Plus extra for the topping
• 1/8 teaspoon Salt
• 1 tablespoon Instant Espresso 
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
• 1/3 cup Hazelnuts coarsely blended

1. Preheat the oven to 300° and move the baking rack to the second lowest. 
2. Boil about 7 cups of water. 
3. Heat 1 cup of the cream, sugar, salt, and instant espresso in a medium saucepan over medium high heat. Stir constantly to avoid burning. You don’t want to burn the cream, that comes later.
4. In a mixing bowl whisk the egg yolks with the vanilla extract until the texture becomes consistent.  
5. Pour the cream mixture into the yolks. Be sure to do this slowly and temper the egg yolks to avoid coagulating the proteins in the yolks. 
6. Line a deep baking dish with a dish towel. Place the empty ramekins in the dish, make sure they’re not touching.  
7. Strain the mixture with a fine mesh strainer and pour into the ramekins. Place into the oven. Pour the boiling water into the large dish. Try to avoid getting water into the desserts. Bake for 25-30 minutes.
8. Remove from oven and let cool. Place in fridge for at least 2 hours to set.
9. Once you’re ready to serve, evenly pour about a tablespoon of sugar on each one. Using a torch, burn the sugar just until it’s bubbly. Sprinkle the hazelnuts onto the bubbling sugar. Enjoy with a spoon!  

before burning

getting burnt

Yes, Katy Weaver took all these wonderful photos!

finished product!

Split Pea Soup with Fish & Mint Meringues

If you’re a fan of this blog then you know that unusual combinations are sort of a running theme and this post is no different. The idea for fish meringues sprouted in my mind after a trip to the local Asian grocery store. It seemed too weird to be terrible. The fish meringues are like little pillows swimming atop a sea of green. The two work together to create a surprising perfect early spring dish. 

I don’t have anything funny to say about this post. But I do have a warning: if you decide to eat more than two servings of this split pea soup in one day, prepare for some green poops. Just accept it and own it. Maybe you can eat a bunch of this soup on March 16th then everything about you can be festive for St. Patricks day!

Split Pea Soup

• 1 lbs. (16 oz) Split Peas
• Chicken or Vegetable Stock
• 1/2 large Onion diced 
• 1 tablespoon Olive Oil
• 2 cloves Garlic minced
• 1/2 cup Milk
• 1/2 cup Water
• 1 teaspoon Coriander
•  Salt & Pepper to taste
• Spinach

1. Saute the onion and garlic in the olive oil in a medium to large sauce pan over medium high heat. Add the coriander, salt and pepper. Continue sauteing until the onions are golden brown. 
2. Add the peas. Saute the peas with the onions for a few minutes. 
3. Add the stock, milk and water. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. Stir occasionally.
4. Reduce the heat to a simmer. Simmer for 20-30 minutes. Stir occasionally.
5. Add half of the spinach to a food processor. Pour the soup into the food processor. Add the rest of the spinach and blend together for a minute.  
6. Serve in a bowl with the meringues and extra virgin olive oil.

Fish & Mint Meringues

• 3 Egg Whites
• 1 teaspoon Sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon Cream of Tartar
• 1/4 teaspoon Fish Sauce
• 1 teaspoon Mint Leaves minced
• 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 325°
2. In a large mixing bowl whisk the egg whites with an electric mixer on medium speed until they get really foamy and bubbly, I’m sure there’s some French term for this.
3. Add the sugar and cream of tartar. Continue beating the egg whites until stiff peaks form. Whisk in the fish sauce, mint, and cayenne. 
4. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Scoop out the meringue with a teaspoon and make dollops of meringue on the sheet. They don’t have to be fancy, they’re going to be crumbled up anyway.
5. Bake at 325° for 12 minutes. After the 12 minutes, turn the oven off and leave the meringues in the oven for another 10 minutes.  Take the meringues out of the oven and let them cool until the outer shell is hard. 
6. Once the meringues are cooled crumble them up and serve on top of the split pea soup.

All these peautiful picture taken by Katy Weaver

Meatloaf Pie

We’re back! And what’s the sexiest dish to make for our return? Let’s say it together, Meatloaf Pie! Our short little hiatus was nice; I was able to recharge my creative batteries and I even learned the true meaning of Presidents Day. Anyway, what’s better than meat? (I’m not asking you, vegans). That’s right, meat wrapped in dough! Let’s dig in.

Makes two pies or one pie and a bunch of meatballs

Pie Crust

• 2 1/2 cup Flour
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 teaspoon Powdered Sugar
• 1/4 cup Shortening
• 1/4 cup cold Butter
• 1/3 cup ice cold Water
• 1 tablespoon Rice Wine Vinegar

1. In a large mixing bowl sift the flour, salt and powdered sugar together.
2. Mix in the butter and shortening with a pastry blender or fork. I used a fork because my pastry blender is missing. I’m offering a $10,000 reward for anyone who finds it. Still cheaper than Williams-Sonoma.
3. Once the fats are in small cubes add the water and vinegar. 
4. Form into a small ball. Place in a bowl and set in freezer while you make the meat filling.

Meatloaf Filling

• 1 lbs Ground Pork
• 1 lbs Ground Beef
• 1 lbs Ground Turkey
• 2 large Eggs
• 1 medium Onion minced or grated
• 2 Cloves of Garlic minced
• 1/3 cup Ketchup or Catsup 
• 1/4 cup Brown Mustard
• 1 cup Panko 
• 1/2 cup Carrot minced or grated
• 1/3 cup Zucchini minced or grated
• 1/2 cup Parsley minced
• Dash of Fish Sauce
• Dash of Balsamic Vinegar
• Dash of Salt and Pepper
• 1 Tablespoon Beef Better than Bouillon
• 1 extra Egg whisked

1. Find a huge mixing bowl. Preheat the oven to 375°
2. Mix all ingredients (except the extra egg) in the mixing bowl with your hands. Clean your hands off on a white couch or a wedding dress.
3. Grab the dough from the freezer. Roll out the pie dough and place in the pie pan. Crimp the edges of the pie.
4. Fill the pie pan with the meat loaf filling. 
5. Make some pie dough lattice to top the pie. Wash the top of the pie with the egg wash.
6. Bake for about 25-30 minutes or until the center is fully cooked.
7. Drain excess juices (there might be a bit). Let cool and slice into the pie, and serve with Port and Fig Sauce and green onions. 

Port and Fig Sauce

• 7 Dried Figs quartered
• 1/2 medium Onion sliced
• 3/4 cup Port Wine
• plus extra
• 2 tablespoons Balsamic Vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon Garlic Salt

1. Heat all the ingredients in a skillet over high heat until all the liquid boils out. Stirring occasionally.
2. Place the cooked figs, onion, and juices in a blender. Turn the blender on high. It’s gonna be chunky. Add more port to mixture to make it a smooth consistency.
3. Use to top the pie or as a dipping sauce.

Meatloaf Pie Pics by Katy Weaver

Sesame Seed Sticky Buns

We’re taking a lil break! I’m starting up a few new projects including a Podcast! And Katy is going to be in SE Asia for a month, so we’re taking a lil break and will be back in March with some more amazing recipes!! So this post is going to have to hold you over for a while.

• 2 packages of Active Dry Yeast
• 1/2 cup Water
• 1 teaspoon Sugar
• 1 1/4 cup Buttermilk
• 2 Eggs
• 5 1/2 cups Flour
• 1/4 cup Butter softened
• 1/4 cup Sugar
• 2 teaspoons Baking Powder
• 2 teaspoons Salt

Fillin’

• 1/4 cup Sesame Seeds 
• 1/2 cup Butter melted
• 1/2 cup Brown Sugar
• 1 teaspoon Cinnamon ground

1. In a large mixing bowl add the yeast, warm water, and 1 teaspoon of sugar. Place in a warmish environment for about 10 minutes. I recommend using the microwave, but don’t turn it on! It’ll kill all those farting bacteria and you’ll end up with sticky flats instead of sticky buns!
2. Combine the yeast mixture with the buttermilk, eggs, 2 1/2 cups of flour, butter, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Once all the ingredients are well incorporated start adding the rest of the flour, 1/2 cup at a time until the dough becomes tacky. 
3. Knead the dough out on a clean(ish) surface that’s lightly covered in flour until the dough becomes smooth and elastic. 
4. Oh did you preheat your oven to 375°? Cause you should probably do that now.
5. Divide the dough into 2 separate balls. Roll out each ball into a 12×7 inch rectangle.
6. In a small mixing bowl mix together all the fillin’ ingredients.
7.  Spread the fillin’ evenly across one of the dough sheets. Place the other sheet across the other. Crimp the edges and cut it into 12 strips.
8. Coat a casserole pan with butter. Add a handful of brown sugar to the bottom of the pan and evenly spread it. 
9. Roll up each dough strip into, well rolls. Evenly space them in the pan. Cover and let them double in size. Go watch an episode of Arrested Development or something.
10. Oh man! That GOB! Okay now you can start baking the buns. About 30 minutes should do it. 
11. Once the buns have finished baking IMMEDIATELY dump them out of the pan upside down onto a baking sheet with parchment paper on it. Let them cool a bit and start stuffing them in your face!

These pictures that will stick with you are taken by Katy Weaver!